Cocoon of the Caterpillar Me

(A quick response for the Daily Post Prompt.)

Home.

It can be an establishment with 4 walls on it. Or it can also be someone’s arm you run and fall into when you’re terribly miserable with your life. Or it can also be yourself. I don’t know but for me, home is my cocoon.

I remember when I was 14 years old (lol I talk of it like it has been a long time of my life– but seriously though) and I never had the gut to just come home and dwell in my soft, warm bed. I was always looking, seeking, reaching for a place that is peaceful enough to call it my actual home. I’ve always thought of stealing someone else’s car or stopping by the bus stop to catch a ride just to run away from the town that has held captive of me for so many years. Now, don’t get me wrong; I loved that town and I love it up until now. But at that time, I was done. I’ve had enough of the same faces I see everyday. I’ve had enough of those same old establishments I see every Sunday morning when I go to church. I’ve just had enough. It feels like I was never able to explore so many environment outside of that town. It feels like I was never able to find who I truly am. (For more information about this feeling, check this short, untitled post out.)

I’ve had the plan settled out. I would leave home at the time my mother finally realized that I am terribly lost. But I never did. I don’t even know why. Maybe because I’m afraid that I might be killed or I might never find a way back to my family and just resort to living alone. That feeling intensified when I read the book by John Green entitled, “Paper Towns”. I still didn’t run away, though. Maybe because I realized that I have the plans laid out for my future. Moreover, I wasn’t able to save enough to supply my needs when that running-away-feeling bothered me.

On the contrary, I was glad I didn’t. I am now 16 and is studying in a state university far from the said town. It’s so distant that I had to find a dormitory which is exactly a 5 minute walk from the said university. From this experience, I’ve realized that home is where my family is. It’s not buried deep inside me that I have to be alone for a while just to feel it. It was always there in that town that I left for the purpose of achieving my goals. It was always there.

Now, I always wait for Saturdays to come quick so I can finally go back home. It was always safer there. At home, it feels like I am a tiny, precious caterpillar wrapped in my cocoon. Protected from any harm or danger. I like it. I miss home.

One funny thing about school is that they give you ‘homework’. It was never ‘homework’ for me. They’re just plain works assigned to be executed out of your school since the time was too short for a long day. (Woah, did I just create my own definition of homework?)

(This prompt might lead you to the suggestion that I am miserably lonely with my life.) ((I’m not, really.))

Soooo, sanctuary. It is my cocoon as this prompt title suggests.

Now. For you. You should always remember that no man is an island, okay?

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